Y ... You

Can’t do without.. (fill the blank).. That’s the tag line for how many commercials? We know it’s a lie. It exists in harmony with the other favourite line.. Do What You Want.. It’s Your Life, even though I seem to detect a clash there. Are we dependent or independent?

I can. Actually, I can do without a whole lot of stuff.. Papa’s pizza, mama’s Best Recipe’s book, XYZ insurance, this gizmo, that gadget. Despite the advertising claims that I really, really need those.. I don’t.

But I do need You. My Other. That main squeeze or BFF, the person who tells me I’m OK. You, I really do need. We’d like to think it’s possible to be completely independent. But humans can’t exist in isolation. We’re relational creatures. We form relationships with our own species, other species, even plants and inanimate objects. We’re part of a complex ecosystem, our every action affecting other life. But it’s the People ones which count the most. The relationships we form are like spider webs criss-crossing our existence. Perhaps they look messy, but they are our lifelines.

Purpose in life is found along the lines of relationships we build. Opportunities arise with every new thread, and no matter whether we try to preserve or break those connections, our decisions reverberate outward, touching more lives than we even realize.

I can’t. Actually, I can’t do without .. You.

Exy

X.

Did you ever stop to consider how important X is?

It’s the universal unknown value.

And kisses, don’t let’s forget kisses.

And.. the X chromosome is part of every human’s DNA, named X for mystery.

That’s kind of cool really. We all have mystery in our make-up, and that very thing is what binds us together. It’s the X factor.

So if we all have this in common, how is it that we don’t know more about it? And wow, here’s another thought.. women have double the dose. Double the mystery? The dudes, they have the whY.

Somewhere in there is a bunch of answers... all we have to do is solve the equation!  X + Y = the solution to the riddle.

(X really does mark the spot.)

xxx

Promise me ... that ... smile

Today's blog is brought to you by the letter.. P. It seems the perfect day for a poem :)

Promise me that smile

The runaway which has

No introduction just an

Unpretentious entry like

Uncle Charlie bursting into the room

Promise me no

Hesitation but just the rush

Of the current over stones

Warm and liquid and

Wordless

Promise me a crushing

Soothing velveteen couch

Kind of burying embrace

Full of overstuffed cushions

Which we toss out of

The way and timeless like

The moment before the sun

Goes down past the lip

Of the horizon seeming

To wait there burning a

Last cigarette before

Ducking under

Make me a promise

That you cannot fail to keep

A promise picked free of the

Cobwebs and dust of past

Hearts and simple

Like a naked grape

Ready for the roundness of

One mouth

©Julia Zed 2013

pascalcampion.blogspot.com

Trippin over the Line..

L is for line. Not the one you wait in, but the one drawn between yes and no.

Whether it is a figurative line in the sand or fence of barbed wire, the line exists to forbid crossing. Would it were a concrete vision! Would it were touchable and clearly marked with yellow crime scene tape. But often the line is no black stripe of permanent ink. It snakes somewhere between the unstated and understated, shifting and elusive as the borealis, and yet...should foot or finger cross it, a resulting electrified jolt leaves an intruder in no doubt of its reality.

‘Boundaries’ was the catch word of the nineties on the psychological self help shelves. “Build thy emotional fences and signpost them well with keep out warnings” was the solid advice. The lines in the sand were already there, it seemed practical to erect a fearsome wall upon them just in case. The resultant, exultant Me/Myself/I enshrined in castle and determined to defend all rights to the death could then peer at another over the battlement wall and perhaps wave sometimes.

Tip-toeing along the line is an art-form of diplomacy. Hopefully your rights and my rights mesh neatly at the border. But what if they don’t . Wherever they overlap, someone’s toe has toed past the line.

Where is the line in our relationship? Am I dependant upon you or free? Do you need me or tolerate me? Is a relationship a crutch or a support? Where is the line? At what point does interest become obsession? At what junction does expectation cross responsibility?...

Perhaps what we need is a small office on the border that will issue leave-passes – permission to cross the line without fear of ending up in no-mans land. Perhaps we need to construct a safety net underneath that long thin line. Perhaps instead of keeping it so taut and uptight...we could give each other a little slack. After all being an island is no fun, and nor is sitting arms crossed on the bottom line.

Looking for loopholes.

Long live love.

image from http://thomsondata.blogspot.com

How about a tune..? This one jumped into my head and I kinda like it.

G is for..

Emotions are the elements of our lives. We float on the ceaseless tide, sometimes bobbing happily, and more often than not, swept underneath the current until the world is obscured by bubbles and debris. Elation, sadness, anxiety, contentment.. they are all necessary shades of our experience.

And sometimes, grief descends, dragging with it a host of other emotions which must be endured as a stream of visitors just at the time when we’d rather be left alone. I have witnessed grief in my loved ones, staring inward through its bulletproof glass, seeing lips move without producing words, feeling the chill of helplessness. What I saw was simply the frost, a herald of the great winter storm inside, never truly understood.. until my own loss enveloped me.

The permanence of loss needs a champion. Grief comes as a tide to sweep us into an acknowledgment of all that was. Feared emotion, yet it is a grey-blanketed saviour from indifference. Scribe of significance, grief records the loss of loves, granting a soul left a little lonelier the balm of recognition.

Death in all its forms is no surprise. Even oblivious in happiness it is understood that an end waits. Our fickle hearts must move and change, never lying in the arms of any emotion too long. Grief must leave its scars beside the imprints of feet and fingers and the exquisite carvings of joy. In this life I shoulder my humanity, and you yours, and we may nod, knowing, at one another walking on the mortal road, since we neither of us have the wings of angels.

G is for grief.

May we grow in grace.

D is for Dance

D is for dance.

I was going to say D is for delicious, but I already mentioned chocolate..so here is the next best thing..

There are a great many sayings about dance that distill its essence into neat perspectives:

“Dancing is a vertical expression of a horizontal desire”
~Robert Frost

“I do not try to dance better than anyone else. I only try to dance better than myself.”
~Mikhail Baryshnikov

“Dance like there’s nobody watching. Or filming. Never mind that creepy guy in the corner with the camcorder. Just keep dancing.”
~Jarod Kintz

“Kids: they dance before they learn there is anything that isn't music.”
~William Edgar Stafford

"Dancing faces you towards Heaven, whichever direction you turn.”

~Terri Guillemets

"Life is short and there will always be dirty dishes, so let's dance.”

~James Howe

“The truest expression of a people is in its dance and in its music. Bodies never lie.”

~Agnes de Mille

“Dancing is like dreaming with your feet!”

~Constanze

..and my favourite of the lot,

”There are shortcuts to happiness, and dancing is one of them.”

~Vicki Baum

Dance. It’s a beautiful way of looking at existence. Dance can be performed alone, but the mastery of dancing with a partner or a company of people truly demonstrates the cooperative skill of the dancers. This is an analogy for life that captures for me the beauty and satisfaction of learning to live in harmonious relationship with others.

Dancing together is not dependency. A successful dance partnership involves each dancer taking responsibility for own steps, own rhythm, and own stamina, while also being ever aware of these things in the other. It is truly a focus of each on the rhythm that keeps the dance in sync and beautiful. 

The dance can be debonaire, deliberate, delicate, daring, delirious..  performed solo or with others, as an expression of emotion, ideas, interpretation, beauty and skill.. with music or without.. impromptu or rehearsed, .. it’s the soul given voice to speak.

Dance gives off sparks.. of passion and of harmony. I want my life to be like that.

Cameron Spencer/Getty Images

Matthew Lehman, Fiona Evans and Daryl Brandwood perform 'Strings 32'

Sebastian Kloborg

HEARTBREAK

When the heart is cut or cracked or broken,
Do not clutch it,
Let the wound lie open.
Let the wind
From the good old sea blow in
To bathe the wound with salt,
And let it sting.
Let a stray dog lick it.
Let a bird lean in the hole and sing
A simple song like a tiny bell,
And let it ring.

.. Michael Leunig

WHAT IS MOST PRECIOUS?

Think about it long and hard, and you'll realize that relationships are the most precious things we have. So how come we don't spend a commensurate amount of time on keeping them healthy and growing? Once you're on your death bed, it's a little too late to start thinking of your loved ones. Sure, it's easy to get too busy with life and the daily grind to factor in special maintenance, but relationships start to go off the rails when they are neglected or taken for granted. Doing a special little something for special people in your life can be a daily habit like watering a plant. Here's some ideas: send an sms, buy a small gift, a genuine compliment, an email, a phone call, a longer hug than usual, a date, a dinner invite, a tickle , a surprise, a shared joke, a chat, a favour done, make the bed, pick a flower, spend a little time on a walk, a game, dunno...you fill in the blank! Well, that's enough. I'm sure you can think of more...

COMMUNICATION BREAKDOWN

It's so easy to open the mouth and let something slip out that destroys the equilibrium of an otherwise friendly relationship. Misunderstanding seems to be so much more natural to us than understanding. I guess we need to step outside of ourselves and look at life from the other perspective to achieve the latter. It would be great to get a second and third chance to redo or resay; to get it right. Groundhog Day is a movie I enjoyed, it was amazing how many reruns it took for that poor guy to finally get it right and get the girl!
If you've said the wrong thing and helplessly watch as things go off course, how do you fix it?